


I Can't Breathe

by Kittyrosee



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Miraculous Ladybug Love Square, Miraculous Ladybug Love Square Angst, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt, Trans Adrien Agreste, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 10:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12604568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyrosee/pseuds/Kittyrosee
Summary: Adrienne has always felt different and uncomfortable with her body, being isolated for so long she never understood why. Finally at the breaking point, can Marinette save HIM before it's too late?





	I Can't Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me and read my stories on tumbr @ItsMegan347Official or on wattpad @Jack_septiplier347! Hope you enjoy!

Adrienne Agreste. To the outside world she was everything. Famous teen supermodel, Paris's sweetheart, amazing grades, kind, funny, the list could go on. But despite all of that, Adrienne was depressed and empty. Because HE was living a lie.

Never had Adrienne wanted anything more than to be born as Adrien. A boy. He hadn't truly realized that until he was told about the term transgender in health class. He had always hated his body. His perfect hourglass figure, his B36 cup size, his long silky blonde hair. Multiple times he had asked his father if he could cut his hair, if he could do whatever he could to even remotely have the body of a 16 year old boy. Needless to say Gabriel was not happy to have his perfect teenage daughter, 14 at the time, tell him he was a boy. He forbid him to ever speak of the subject to anyone else. EVER! What would that do to the great Gabriel Agrest's image.

Years passed after Adrien told his father of his true self. And years passed of ignorant dismissals and denials to do a single thing. Adrien could wear pants but he needed to have a blouse or feminine shirt to go with it. Twice a week though he was required to wear a dress. His hair had to pass his shoulders and he must always have at least a little bit of make up on.

Adrien's 17th birthday was in 3 weeks and he was reaching a breaking point. Never in his life had he felt so.............broken. Why was he forced to live in the wrong body. Why was forced to have a father who cared more about his image than his own child. He could see Adrien was suffering and did nothing, he did nothing but make his son feel unloved and unwanted. And. he. Couldn't. Take it anymore.

Tuesday night. Tuesday night he was going to do it. End his pain. He just couldn't live like this anymore. He didn't care if he was Chat Noir. It was the only thing that had kept him alive this long. Monday he went to his second to last day of school. Everything went by normally beside him. His best friend Nino playfully ruffling his hair as they walked to class. Walking in his childhood "friend" Chloe pounced on him per usual telling him that they were best friend and girl power and all that dumb shit. He wondered if ladybug would put the pieces together after he was gone. Would she be mad at him? Probably. He was basically abandoning the love of his life. Adrien knew he liked girls, and Nino just thought he was gay and had a thing for cute petite girls with Raven hair and blue eyes as another girl had also caught his eye. One Marinette Dupain-Chang, the shy, sweet, loving girl who sat behind him in class. It was definitely a fact that Adrien was infatuated with the girl, and would be 100% in love with her were it not for his lady. Or her lady to everyone else. He was really going to miss them both.

Tuesday night, his last patrol, his last time transforming into chat noir, the last time he would ever see ladybug. The last time he would ever see anyone. He had accepted his fate already, he hoped she would understand.

"My lady?" He asked stopping her before they started patrol.

"Yes?" She asked turning to him.

"I...umm....here." Nervously he held out a letter he had written. Explaining how his feelings for her were so real and how in love with her he was, and how much he was going to miss her.......and he signed it with his real name.

"What's this?" She asked worriedly taking notice in the sad expression on his face. "Kitty?"

"Uh....yeah.....umm....I..it's a letter. For you. But please don't read it until I'm gone."

"Are you ok, Chat? Things seem pretty peaceful right now we don't need to patrol tonight, I can stay here for a bit and talk." Ladybug said worriedly coming up and resting a gentle hand on his cheek. His stupid girl cheek.

"No no, I promise I'm ok bugaboo, let's patrol." And with that Adrien vaulted off to the next building leaving ladybug standing suspicious and scared. Never in the three years she had been ladybug had she seen her partner act that way.

She looked so.........damaged. It terrified her immensely. Chat was her best friend, her other half, she was the thing that got Marinette through the day.

Shaking it off for the moment she swung after chat to catch her. Ladybug could see that Chat jumped from roof to roof as if she was in a rush. Like her adrenaline was getting the best of her.

After an hour and a half of carefully watching Chat Noir and the city, they landed back on their meeting place ready to part ways. Looking at Chat's eyes she could see how rueful she looked.

"Chat, come on, talk to me. I know something's wrong please, I'm worried." Ladybug pleaded setting a hand on Chats shoulder causing her to flinch back.

"N..no I'm just..." and with that Chat pulled ladybug into a crushing hug, digging his face deep into the crook of her neck, enjoying the comfort he found there and relishing in it for the last time.

The intensity and suddenness of the action causing ladybug to stand there shocked for a second before she embraced Chat back, running her fingers through her long blonde hair. Whispering comforting words to her in hopes of calming her rapid heartbeat. What had Chat so scared was beyond her and she intended to find out, but for now she just wanted to calm her down.

Suddenly they both felt a single drop of water fall from the sky, and then another, and then millions pelted down like bullets soaking them in a second, but neither could bring themselves to care.

After a while Chat longingly pulled back, wiping a few tears from her cheek.

"Chat?" Ladybug said hesitantly as if approaching a timid baby animal.

"I just want you to know, that I love you so much. And I always have." And with that chat leaned in planting a gentle kiss on ladybugs cheek before jumping away.

As soon as Chat was out of sight ladybug pulled the letter out of her pocket as she ducked under a little platform on the roof as to not soak the paper.

'Dear Ladybug,

First off I want to start off this letter by saying thank you. I want to thank you for showing me love and care when no one else in my life did. I want to thank you for trusting me, and I want to thank you for being the love of my life. I know I acted like a stupid flirt all the time but, my feelings were always real, and I love you more than words can say. Now you're probably wondering why I just gave you a random note with all this sappy stuff written in. It's because I have to say goodbye. I'm sorry I didn't say it out loud, and I'm sorry I have to leave you like this, but I need to go. I can't even begin to explain the pain I've been living with in my civilian form. I can't live like that anymore. It's too much. By the time you're done reading this I'll have jumped off the roof of my estate, don't worry my miraculous is safely placed in the lower left hand compartment of my bedside table. It's hidden under the cat pun shirt you got me for Christmas last year. You can sneak into my room and get it, my kwami will tell you what to do. Plagg doesn't know about this so forgive him for his attitude. I love you so much bugaboo. Thank you for being the best thing that's ever happened to me and for being the best partner I could ever ask for.

You're partner,

Adrienne Agrest'

Ladybug was sobbing uncontrollably. This couldn't be happening. As fast as she could she stood up and swung as fast as she ever had towards the Agrest estate.

If it weren't for her surge of adrenaline her legs would have collapsed leaving her in a pile of tears.

She could see it, she could see her. Adrienne Agrest standing on the edge of the roof of her mansion, in nothing but a baggy t-shirt and jeans. Her hair clung to her face from the rain and she looked so empty.

"STOP!" Ladybug screamed as she landed on the rooftop practically sliding to grab the stunned girl.

"L...ladybug." She said eyes wide as she gaped at the spandex clad superhero who held her so protectively.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!" Ladybug screamed as she pulled Adrien farther away from the edge.

"Please ladybug let me jump! I can't live like this anymore!" Adrien said back trying to pull himself from her grasp.

"ARE YOU INSANE! HOW ON EARTH DID YOU THINK THIS WAS GOING TO SOLVE ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS! IT DOESN'T! IT JUST TAKES AWAY ANY CHANCE YOU HAD OF IT GETTING BETTER! AND IT JUST PASSES YOUR PAIN OFF TO EVERYONE WHO LOVES YOU! ME! DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT WE ARE EACH ONE HALF OF A WHOLE! IF YOU WERE GONE I COULDN'T LIVE! AND WHAT DO YOU THINK EVERYONE AT SCHOOL WILL SAY! THEY WOULD ALL BE CRUSHED!" Sobs racked her body as she held Adrien in her trembling hands.

"You don't understand! It's not......wait.....school? You go to my school!" Adrien said mouth agape.

Suddenly a bright pink light flashed and there before him stood Marinette Dupain-Chang.

"M-Marinette!"

"H..How do you think that I c..could live knowing the love of my life jumped off a...a roof and I couldn't do anything." She sobbed holding him tighter.

Adrien couldn't even react to all of this. Marinette, his shy, adorable, amazing classmate was also his lady, and she loved him too.

But then a larger frown took over his features. She didn't love him, she loved Adrienne.

"I...I'm so sorry. I just.....you wouldn't get it." Adrien said ripping his arm from her grasp. And walking towards the edge again.

"WHAT! WHAT DON'T I UNDERSTAND! TELL ME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST.."

"I'M A BOY!" Adrien screamed back aggressively, causing Marinette to take a step back in shock. He had never yelled at her before.

Hands falling to his sides, Adrien began to cry himself.

"I'm a boy.....and I always have been! And my dad was disgusted with me! He forced me never to speak of it again and to live a fucking lie! Everyday! Everyday he made me wear girl clothes and wear make up and act like a girl and anytime I even so much as brought up wanting to cut my hair he would just beat me until I agreed to pretend again. I...I can't live a lie anymore. It's like I can't breathe. I can't breathe" He sobbed falling to the floor of the roof.

Marinette quickly fell to his side and held him closer than ever. Did this change anything for her, did it change how much she loved him? Absolutely not a chance in hell.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you've had to live like that, and I'm sorry you couldn't open up to anyone about it. And I'm sorry for not being there for you." Marinette cried holding Adrien's cheeks and stroking the wet hair out of his face.

"I just don't know what to do..." Adrien sobbed laying his forehead to hers.

Marinette on the other hand knew exactly what to do.

"First, you're going to promise me you will never do anything like this again." Mari said looking into Adrien's eyes. He nodded slowly letting out a long held breath.

"Second, you are going to put your miraculous back on and apologize to your kwami, because they are probably terrified right now." Once again Adrien slowly nodded.

"And third, you are going to grab a big bag and everything you need and we are getting you away from this house. Forever. I tolerate a lot of things but abuse is not one of them. You're going to get everything you need and you are coming to live with me."

Adrien gaped in surprise, he was going to get away from his dad, he wouldn't get beat anymore for trying to be himself, he could be himself!

"I love you so much ok." Marinette said shaking Adrien from his thoughts. "If you ever have a single doubt and you start to think no one loves or cares about you, remember that I love you and need you more than anything!" She spoke placing a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"Let's go." Quickly Marinette stood up pulling Adrien up with her. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before she spoke again.

"Is their a name you want everyone to call you from now on?" She asked.

"Adrien." He said smiling that he could finally say his name out loud. It felt so good.

"Ok Adrien, let's get dried up and packed. Come on."

And with that they both got off the roof and carefully slid into Adrien's room. Quickly Adrien put his miraculous back on and a frantic Plagg appeared before both their eyes. The kwami's large green cat eyes landed on Adrien in a second and before they could even react he was nose to nose with the soaked boy.

"YOU ARE AN IDIOT! WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING TO DO HUH?! YOU STUPID KID! I GET THAT YOU WANT TO BE A BOY AND ALL BUT THIS WAS TOO FAR!" Plagg yelled hitting Adrien in the nose every few words.

"I'm sorry Plagg, I was dumb, please forgive me, I'll give you all the cheese you want!" Adrien said eyes dropping guiltily. Plagg quickly nuzzled into his chosens cheek affectionately. "You better!"

Marinette smiled softly at the exchange before coughing lightly to gather the two's attention. Before she could get a word out though and red blob burst out of her soaking jacket and made a B line straight for Plagg. "TIKKI!" "PLAGG!" They both yelled before crashing into each other and hugging tightly.

"Let's get you packed yeah?" Marinette said placing a hand on Adrien's shoulder. "Yeah."

Quickly Adrien packed a duffle bag full of everything he needed. Before they left though, he left his father a small note on his pillow.

'Dear Father,

I am sorry to tell you that I will no longer be living with you, I will no longer work for you, and I will no longer call you my father. I have found a friend who fully accepts and loves me for who I truly am. I will be living with her from now on. I will no longer keep quiet about my identity and I plan to tell everyone on my social media accounts and at school tomorrow who I am, a boy. Don't try to stop me, don't try to find me, don't call, text, or try to contact me in any way, shape, or form or I will not hesitate to report you to the police for severe child abuse and I will not hesitate to ruin your career. I will have you know that everything you have done to me has caused me intense emotional and physical trauma and if it weren't for my friend I would have jumped off the roof last night. But at the same time, I must thank you. You have shown me what kind of a father NOT to be. And one day when I become a father, I will treat them right.

Goodbye Gabriel,

sincerely,

Adrien Agrest

P.S. I have taken all the money I've earned from my modeling from the safe in your office to pay for new clothes and help pay for hormone treatment when the time comes.'

Leaving the note on his pillow Adrien grabbed his bag and the two teens transformed before they ran through the rain towards Marinette's home, his new home.

Needless to say Tom and Sabine were more than happy to take Adrien in once Marinette explained the situation and even offered to give him the spare room that was originally being used for storage. Although he would sleep on Marinette's lounge until they could clean it out and he could buy new furniture and clothes for the room.

It wouldn't be a problem, the first thing Adrien did the next day was go to the bank and transfer everything on his personal card to a new one under Tom and Sabine's names and control. He also put in everything he had taken from the safe. It wasn't stealing because it was technically his own earned money. And adding up he had a little over 180,000 euro. Being the amazing people they were though, they insisted that they would pay for all of Adrien's clothes and furniture and that he keep that money for his transition. Needless to say, he cried, a lot.

At school the next day Adrien came out to his class and they were all accepting! Surprisingly even Chloe. He also received tons of positive feedback from all his followers online. If it couldn't get any better, his class surprised him by making their third period a little celebration and Alya cut Adrien's hair for him. He cried then too.

Things were really looking up for him. His father had made a smart choice and not tried to contact him at all. The gorilla however did show up at the bakery one day to give Adrien a pat on the back and gifted him with his favorite baseball hat from when he was a kid. "I'm proud of you Adrien." He said as he left.

A few months after he had left his old home, he and Marinette announced that they were officially together. Everyone was happy for them and of course all Adrien did was post on his online accounts about how much he loved her.

Sometimes at night if you look out, you can see the superhero duo bounding over rooftops. And if you look just long enough, you might even see them share a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one shot! Feel free to leave story requests in the comments below! I also write Yuri on Ice and Voltron fics as well, so you can request from those fandoms too!


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